1000 Things, Part 3

Right now I'm probably wondering around downtown Boston with my Mom, waiting to move into the dorms tomorrow. I probably won't be able to get to a computer until Friday, so this will have to do for now. ^_^

101. Go on an Alaskan cruise

102. Receive a PhD

103. Visit the San Diego Zoo

104. Visit the United Nations

105. Attend a session of the US Supreme Court

106. Live abroad

107. Visit Wall Street

108. Learn how the stock market works

109. Walk on the Great Wall of China

110. Write to my congressman

111. Have my picture in the paper

112. See the Aurora Borealas

113. Wade in a public fountain

114. Steal a sign

115. Fly first class

116. Prospect for gold

117. Solve a Rubik's cube

118. Shower under a waterfall

119. Metal detect on the beach

120. Straddle the border between two states

121. Straddle the border between two countries

122. Straddle the border between two continents

123. Stand astride the Four Corners

124. Ride through the Chunnel

125. Ride a Maglev train

126. Learn a magic trick

127. Attend a Stanley Cup Final game

128. Get a fake tan

129. Get a real tan

130. Climb a mountain

131. Stay up all night "painting the town red"

132. Live with an eccentric roommate

133. See a Broadway play on Broadway

134. Stand astride the Prime Meridian

135. Stand astride the equator

136. View Saturn through a telescope

137. Visit Stonehenge

138. Invest in the stock market

139. Throw out my entire wardrobe and buy an new one

140. Spend the night in an aquarium/museum

141. Solve the New York Times Sunday crossword in pen

142. Spend a whole day baking & then give it all away

143. Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge

144. Visit every stop of the London Underground

145. Ride a train across Cambodia

146. Write a letter to the editor & have it published

147. Keep a daily journal for an entire year

148. Have my teeth professionally whitened

149. Find five dollars on the ground

150. Leave a dollar on the ground for someone else to find

All in the Family

It's been a busy couple of days for me here, there were a few family functions I had to go to. Well, I went willingly (enough), but still...

Yesterday my Mom & Dad & I went to my Aunt Helen's for lunch with some other family members. She's not really my aunt, but she's my Dad's aunt. I think. She might be his great-aunt. I don't really know. I get confused about his side of the family. There's too many people to remember. But anyway, that was fun. Nothing too special. Just a lot of talking, my parents bragging about me (because I'm something to brag about :-D), and telling everyone how school is going.

Today was my brother's graduation for boot camp. He was stationed in Fort Knox, the one with the big gold depository, and that's about an hour & a half away. It took us almost three hours to get there. We were about half an hour out when my parents realized we forgot the letter they sent us with a map of the base. They thought it was the invitation & that it was required to get in, so we had to turn around. Turns out we didn't need the letter and we almost missed the entire ceremony because of it. Meh. I don't really approve of my brother's lifestyle choice anyway. Haha, fancy someone like me saying something like that! Yeah, I'm not a big fan of the military, especially since, in my opinion, he only joined the Army because he likes to shoot things.

I really just don't like guns. Period. I found an old pistol on my Dad's night stand the other day and I freaked out. My Mom said it didn't work & that it wasn't even loaded, so she started to wave it around like an idiot. Turns out it was loaded, and & only one barrel doesn't work. OMG. I could have been shot by my own mother. Yeah, I wasn't too happy about that.

Introduction

Let me just say that I don't really know what I'm doing. At all. I sort of feel like I'm diving into the deep end of the world of blogging. I mean, I do have a Twitter & Tumblr account, but I don't think those really compare. So I apologize beforehand if this turns out to be a complete failure or if it becomes hard to read at times.

Anyway, I guess I started this as a way to let all these thoughts that are racing around in my head out. All those thoughts I have all the time but won't let out. All these thoughts I'm too afraid to let people know I have. I know this isn't healthy, keeping all this in. I suppose this is really just a way for me to come out to the world, at least, for now, in an anonymous sense.

I am gay. There. I've said it. It's out there. And while it doesn't totally feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest, the weight is somewhat slightly reduced, because now I can talk about it to someone. I've know for a while now that I liked boys, probably around the age of 11 or 12. I've never told anyone this, but I'm sure some people have their suspicions. I discovered pornography around 13 & would spend hours on the computer looking at naked men. I wasn't very good at covering my tracks, though, & inevitably my parents found out. Their first reaction was to send me to a therapist. I was raised in a Christian home & being good Christians my parents saw homosexuality as a sin. Let me just say that sending me to therapy was probably the last thing I needed at that point. I was already confused about all these feelings I was having, I didn't need a therapist telling me those feelings were wrong & that I should stop having them if I didn't want to wind up in Hell. I think that might have been the single most traumatic experience in the development of the acceptance of who & what I am.

But more on that later. I don't want this blog to only be about me being gay, because I don't think my homosexuality defines me. While it is a part of who I am, it's not all of who I am. There's more to me than that, & I want this blog to be about what makes me myself. Mostly. I also want it to be about my journey towards mustering up the courage to come out to my friends & family. That might sound a bit confused, but that's exactly what I am: confused. This is about me finding myself, my purpose in life & finally being happy.