Sunday, November 22, 2009

So here's the story...

I have a little dilemma involving a boy...

I met him online, well he's 23 so I guess he's a man. We chatted for a while online and he seemed like a nice guy. Last weekend we finally met. We went to a wind ensemble concert at his old school (Boston College) and afterwards we went to a post-concert band party, because he used to be in the band and he was still friends with most of the people still in it. It was a lot of fun, I didn't drink at all because I don't drink, but it was still fun. It got late and we left around 2am, and by that time the T was closed for the night so I obviously wasn't going home (I hate cabs, they scare the shit out of me). So we went back to his place. I spent the night and we shared a few intimate moments. I won't go into details, but I will say that we didn't go all the way. In the morning we showered and he made (or at least attempted to make) pancakes and we watched a movie before I had to go home around 4pm so I could finish some homework.

The next week (this past week) we texted a lot and then on Friday I wasn't feeling well at all. I hadn't been able to sleep (it was the Twilight movie premier and college girls are really loud) and I was feeling really sick. Anyway, he surprised me by offering to stop by my dorm and bring me chicken noodle soup on his way home from work. I'm not really on his way home, but I'm not too far out of his way. We're on the same T line, but he's on the D branch and I'm on the E, so maybe a 15-20 minute walk extra? Anyway, he brought me soup and we ate together and talked about European politics and stuff (or at least I tried to. I still don't understand the EU :-/).

So here's my dilemma. The site where I met him is primarily a hook-up site (i.e. sex, mostly one night stands). But he seems really nice and I'm not sure if our "relationship" is about sex or friends or more or what. I've never had a boyfriend before so I don't know how this sort of thing works. I'm going back to his place tonight in about 5 hours; he's making us dinner. And I'm probably not going to stay the night because he has work and I have class tomorrow morning, but I still don't know if I should ask him about it or just do what I usually do in any situation and just try to figure it out myself. Or maybe I'm just overthinking this (like I always do) and I should just let things play out. If any of you guys have any advice for me I would really appreciate it. :-/


  1. Your relationship is what you both agree to tacitly or explicitly. At this point it doesn't seem that it's simply about sex in his mind or yours.

    I'm not experienced, but it seems to me that at this point you are not obligated to anything in particular. So don't feel that it has to go one way or another or that you owe him whatever he wants, or that he owes you anything. Just respect each other.

  2. I think he does what a relationship. I mean if he wanted you for just sex and one night stand he could have gotten it that night you guys didn't go all the way.

    I mean that seems like the perfect night to do it but since he didn't then I think he wants more then just sex.

    That's just how I see it though