Complicated

Thanks for all your advice guys, I really appreciate it. I just got back about an hour and a half ago :-P

I had a lot of fun. I got there and we made dinner, well, he made dinner and I kind of stood and watched and helped a little bit. We ate and it was pretty good. I had brought him a box of chocolates as a sort of thank you for the past two times we had met. We watched a little TV and then he had to make a pie for some pie making contest at work. He kind of freaked out because the crust didn't bake right. It didn't bake at all really, it kind of fell apart. Then we watched some more TV and all of a sudden it was 2am, so I spent the night again.

I didn't end up asking him about us, or if there even is an "us", but I'm even more confused now. While we were watching TV he asked me if I'd ever had a boyfriend. Just out of nowhere. So of course I start over-thinking it. Was he just trying to make conversation? Is he trying to hint at something?

Why are boys so complicated?

So here's the story...

I have a little dilemma involving a boy...

I met him online, well he's 23 so I guess he's a man. We chatted for a while online and he seemed like a nice guy. Last weekend we finally met. We went to a wind ensemble concert at his old school (Boston College) and afterwards we went to a post-concert band party, because he used to be in the band and he was still friends with most of the people still in it. It was a lot of fun, I didn't drink at all because I don't drink, but it was still fun. It got late and we left around 2am, and by that time the T was closed for the night so I obviously wasn't going home (I hate cabs, they scare the shit out of me). So we went back to his place. I spent the night and we shared a few intimate moments. I won't go into details, but I will say that we didn't go all the way. In the morning we showered and he made (or at least attempted to make) pancakes and we watched a movie before I had to go home around 4pm so I could finish some homework.

The next week (this past week) we texted a lot and then on Friday I wasn't feeling well at all. I hadn't been able to sleep (it was the Twilight movie premier and college girls are really loud) and I was feeling really sick. Anyway, he surprised me by offering to stop by my dorm and bring me chicken noodle soup on his way home from work. I'm not really on his way home, but I'm not too far out of his way. We're on the same T line, but he's on the D branch and I'm on the E, so maybe a 15-20 minute walk extra? Anyway, he brought me soup and we ate together and talked about European politics and stuff (or at least I tried to. I still don't understand the EU :-/).

So here's my dilemma. The site where I met him is primarily a hook-up site (i.e. sex, mostly one night stands). But he seems really nice and I'm not sure if our "relationship" is about sex or friends or more or what. I've never had a boyfriend before so I don't know how this sort of thing works. I'm going back to his place tonight in about 5 hours; he's making us dinner. And I'm probably not going to stay the night because he has work and I have class tomorrow morning, but I still don't know if I should ask him about it or just do what I usually do in any situation and just try to figure it out myself. Or maybe I'm just overthinking this (like I always do) and I should just let things play out. If any of you guys have any advice for me I would really appreciate it. :-/

Sorry!

It's been over 2 months since I last posted something and I'm really sorry about that. I just assumed since it had been a while no one was reading it or still paying attention. Thanks Pilgrim for reminding me that I even had a blog :-P Anyway, I've just been really busy with classes and I haven't had much time to blog. So, what's happened in the past 2 months...?

I joined a club here on campus. Well actually it's a magazine, but it's still an extracurricular, right? It's a student-run science magazine, the first on campus, and we just released our first issue a couple weeks ago. I wrote a little somethin'-somethin', really short, not a big deal, but I'm published now! I'll have to remember to put it up here if any of you guys are interested.

Work study: I got a job, can't remember if it's the same one I had an interview for when I last posted, but I got something at least. :-) It's really good, I work in the RA (resident assistant) office. I just put up flyers and poster in the dorm, take down old ones, check out the communal pool equipment/vacuums, track down people that have had them for a while (that's my favorite, I feel like a bounty hunter). But really most of the time there's nothing to do so I just do homework. It's really nice, I get paid $8.50 an hour to do homework and check Facebook :-D

Umm...what else? Oh! I did end up going to that therapy group. It's been helpful I guess. Idk, I'm not very good with introspection, so I'm not sure if I've "changed" at all. But there's only a couple more sessions left after Thanksgiving, so I'll have to find somewhere else to go to talk about my problems :-P There's free short term therapy on campus though, so I might just do that.

A lot more has happened, but I don't want to make this too long. I'll post about it later. Bye!

Catching up

I realize it's been a while since I last posted, but nothing really exciting has happened. Sure classes have started, but who wants to read about that? (They're ok, by the way. Should be a fun semester). I found a therapy group I might start going to. It's about coming out and that sort of stuff, so I thought it might be helpful. IDK. I have to call the lead therapist guy and talk about if it's the right match for me or if I should go into more one-on-one counciling. *sigh*

I really don't know what to write about. I just don't like not writing something. It's my friend's birthday today (I know, what a crappy day for your birtday. 9/11?) and I don't really know if we're doing anything. I guess it depends on how depressed she's feeling :-/

Anyway, that's about it. I have an interview for a Work Study job at 2. This is like the 7th one I've applied for. Why won't anyone hire me? Am I that undesirable? But I have to find something. I still need to pay for school.

1000 Things, Part 3

Right now I'm probably wondering around downtown Boston with my Mom, waiting to move into the dorms tomorrow. I probably won't be able to get to a computer until Friday, so this will have to do for now. ^_^

101. Go on an Alaskan cruise

102. Receive a PhD

103. Visit the San Diego Zoo

104. Visit the United Nations

105. Attend a session of the US Supreme Court

106. Live abroad

107. Visit Wall Street

108. Learn how the stock market works

109. Walk on the Great Wall of China

110. Write to my congressman

111. Have my picture in the paper

112. See the Aurora Borealas

113. Wade in a public fountain

114. Steal a sign

115. Fly first class

116. Prospect for gold

117. Solve a Rubik's cube

118. Shower under a waterfall

119. Metal detect on the beach

120. Straddle the border between two states

121. Straddle the border between two countries

122. Straddle the border between two continents

123. Stand astride the Four Corners

124. Ride through the Chunnel

125. Ride a Maglev train

126. Learn a magic trick

127. Attend a Stanley Cup Final game

128. Get a fake tan

129. Get a real tan

130. Climb a mountain

131. Stay up all night "painting the town red"

132. Live with an eccentric roommate

133. See a Broadway play on Broadway

134. Stand astride the Prime Meridian

135. Stand astride the equator

136. View Saturn through a telescope

137. Visit Stonehenge

138. Invest in the stock market

139. Throw out my entire wardrobe and buy an new one

140. Spend the night in an aquarium/museum

141. Solve the New York Times Sunday crossword in pen

142. Spend a whole day baking & then give it all away

143. Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge

144. Visit every stop of the London Underground

145. Ride a train across Cambodia

146. Write a letter to the editor & have it published

147. Keep a daily journal for an entire year

148. Have my teeth professionally whitened

149. Find five dollars on the ground

150. Leave a dollar on the ground for someone else to find